Abstinence - Just say NO!
Absinence is the only fool proof
method of preventing pregnancy . However, at a time when "everyone
is doing it" and your body is screaming "YES!"
louder than your brain says "no", it is hard to abstane
from sex. There are some things you can do to help stop yourself
and your partner when you are in the heat of the moment.
1. Take a deep breath and say these words, "No,
I don't want to have sex".
2. If the question arises while you are kissing
or fooling around, stop what you are doing and change the tone
of the moment. Emphasize your words with actions.
3. Be prepared for questions and/or objections.
Stay true to yourself and your stated feelings.
4. Calmly explain why you choose abstinence.
List all of your reasons be they religious, moral, personal or
situational (or any combination of these).
5. If you have had sex before don't let the other
preson use this to bully you into it now, just because you have
done it before doesn't mean you have to do it everytime you are
6. Tell the other person how you feel about them
and be honest. If you don't feel close enough to them yet, say
so. If you really love them but aren't interested in sex, say
7. Tell the other person the depth of your commitment
to abstinence. If you don't plan on having sex until you are married,
say so. If you are curious but not ready, say so.
8. There is no reason for you to down play how
you feel about sex or sex with this specific person. At times
like this honesty is an absolute must.
9. If the other person keeps on pressing, say
"No!" again. You may have to say this more than once
to make them see you are serious.
10. Do not try to diffuse the tension with lots
of kissing and/or other physical gestures, this will confuse your
message of "No!".
11. Draw the line firmly and if the other person
doesn't appear to be getting it, leave.
12. If the other person starts trying to coerce
you or force you to have sex YELL "No!" and physically
push them away. Leave and talk about it the next day.
13. If the other person pulls the old "If
you loved me you'd do it" line retort with "If you loved
me you'd wait". Sex is not a test of your love or feelings
for another person and saying "No!" to sex does not
mean you have failed to show your love.
14. If you feel uncertain of your ability to
stay true to your initial "No!", leave. Your first instinct
was to say no and now is not the time to second guess yourself.
15. Remind yourself that if it was meant to be
with you and this other person it was meant to be right for both
of you, not only one of you. Saying no now does not mean you are
saying no forever.
Tips on Abstinence