One of the biggest problems during
adolescence is the power struggle
that develops between teens and adults. Recognize it
for what it is - the result of teens wanting to feel powerful
in an adult world - and find ways of working through it together.
* Teens are learning to be adults, and they need room to breathe
and learn the skills they will need. It's up to the adult to balance
freedom and independence with good judgement about when to step
* When it comes to clothes and fads, teens can amaze us with
their attempts to "fit in." While it's necessary to
set standards, it is also important to refrain from making fun
of a teen-ager's clothes or appearance, since painful put-downs
can leave deep scars.
* Finally, communicate, communicate, communicate. Make a point
to talk with teens when there's not a problem. Conversations with
teens can be refreshing and insightful, and they should be a part
of each day. Most take place in the presence of other people,
so find occasions to talk with your teen alone, away from brother,
sister and anyone else. And make sure you listen carefully to
what is being said as well as what is not. Effective communication
is, after all, the key to healthy relationships.
Opening Up & Talking