Low Self-Esteem

Children from divorced families often feel rejected. The feeling that one has been abandoned by the two closest people in the world often leaves scars that are difficult to heal. The child is left to try to understand why these two people cannot stay together and may even personalize the blame because they feel that they are not good enough to bring them back together.

Dealing with low self-esteem requires absolute honesty to establish an accurate picture of who we are, positive or otherwise. This means that we do not try to deny that we have problems. We accept that this is the case. However, we push this further by asking ourselves what these problems really mean in our lives and what we can do about it. Often, when one goes through this process, it is evident that the consequences are not as bad as they seem to be. Life goes on.

Just like the divorce is not the kid's fault, getting parents back together is not up to the kid, either. And most likely, this doesn't happen, although plenty of kids wish for it and even try things they think might work. Acting like an angel at home all the time (who can do that?) and getting straight As at school (another hard thing to do) may make your mom and dad happy with you, but it doesn't mean they'll get back together.

The opposite is also true. Getting in trouble so your mom and dad will have to get together to talk about these problems is not going to make the divorce go away, either. So, just be yourself and try to talk to your parents about any feelings you have.