Saying You're Sorry
Part of participating in
sibling rivalry is learning how to say you're sorry
after a fight or something happened. It is not easy to always
get along with anyone. To say you are sorry to someone is to apologize
to them. You may apologize because you caused that person some
sort of hurt or upset them, or you may apologize because you did
some thing that you didn't mean to do intentionally (like accidentally
put a hole in your sisters new sweater). When you apologize you
can also make promises for the future such as "I won't ever
do that again", "I am going to change", and "I
will be more careful next time."
How Does It Make You Feel?
When you are going to apologize
to someone or have apologized to them, it is because you stopped
and thought about how you may have made someone feel bad in some
way. You felt bad that they felt bad and that you were the cause
of it. You may feel guilty or ashamed of your behaviour and that
you must now apologize - that is a normal reaction. Even if what
you did was only an accident you may still feel guilty and sorry.
The good thing about apologizing is that it can make you feel
What Does an Apology Sound Like?
There are many ways to apologize. Here are some examples:
* I'm sorry about the mean thing I said to you."
* I'm sorry I lost your book."
* I was mad, but I shouldn't have called you a name. I'm sorry."
* I'm sorry I hurt your feelings."
* I'm sorry I yelled at you."
* I'm really sorry I hit you when I was mad. That was wrong. I
won't do it anymore."
When you apologize to someone,
they might apologize back to you. They might say, "That's
OK, I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have teased you." And then
maybe you can both feel friendly again.
When Should You Apologize?
Someone might need to apologize
if they hurt or teased someone or lost something that belonged
to someone else. They might need to apologize if they broke something,
or if they did something they knew was wrong - like telling a
lie or breaking a rule on purpose. Maybe they did something their
parent told them not to do, or maybe they didn't do something
they were supposed to do.
Does Apologizing Fix Everything?
can fix alot. It is a good way to start but you may need to do
more to show you are sorry. You may want to promise that you will
be different in the future or that you will do something nice
for the person. It also may take the other person awhile to forgive
you - they may not want to be buddy-buddy so soon after the event.
If someone apologizes to you, you may not feel like forgiving
them right away either. It is also important to watch out for
people who apologize and promise to change but do not and keep
repeating the cycle. They may never change.
Teens & Siblings
A Parent's Help