Terrible Two's

Ahhhhh - The Terrible 2's!

The "Terrible Two's" in fact usually start earlier far than that. Most doctors and experienced parents will tell you that around eighteen months of age, stubbornness, selfishness and temper tantrums become the normal order of the day.

How can you teach your child right from wrong? How can you discipline him? How can you turn this infamous age period into a more enjoyable time for both of you.

* First of all, remember that the word "discipline" comes from the word "disciple" meaning someone who follows the teaching of others. Discipline does not automatically mean punishment. Punishment may sometimes be part of the discipline process, but it's only a small part.

* Remember that when a toddler misbehaves, it's not because he is basically nasty or just trying to make your life miserable. He does so to show his independence and sometimes to learn a new skill, like throwing dishes onto the floor. And sometimes to show his feelings of being frustrated. This doesn't mean that you shouldn't do anything about it, but at least you should try to understand why he is acting up. That should go a long way towards helping you keep your own reactions on an even keel.

I'd like to pass along to you some suggestions that will help control your toddler's destructive tendencies and temper tantrums.

1. Distraction. Try to redirect your child to another activity, like playing some music or turning on the T. V.

2. Separation. Remove him from the place where he is causing trouble. If he is in the park and bites his friend, take him home. It doesn't work to scream and yell, just do it quietly.

3. Explanation. Explain why you are acting a certain way. Setting rules and regulations and not explaining them is unfair.

4. Compromise. Yes, sometimes give in. Allow him to make some decisions. By letting him win some small arguments, you'll have a better chance to win the big ones.

5. Punishment. Yes, there is a place for punishment, such as taking away privileges. Spanking should be reserved for special occasions like running out into traffic. I don't believe a child should ever be physically abused. A smack across the backside is more than enough for him to get the message.

If you keep these five rules at the ready you can reasonably expect to escape toddlerhood in one piece.