A Positive Life After Divorce
There will be ups and downs in
the process, but teens can cope successfully with their parents'
divorce and the changes it brings. They may even discover some
unexpected positives. Teens may find
their parents are actually happier after the divorce
or they may develop new and better ways of relating to both parents
when they have separate time with each one.
Some teens become more compassionate
and kind when a younger brother or sister needs their support
and care. Siblings who are closer in age may form tighter bonds,
learning to count on each other more because they're facing the
challenges of their parents' divorce together. Coping well with
divorce also can bring out strength and maturity in teens.
They may become more responsible, independent, and thoughtful.
Some become better problem-solvers, better listeners, or better
friends. Most teens learn - sometimes to their surprise - that
they can make it through this difficult situation successfully.
Giving it time, letting others support you along the way, and
keeping an eye on the good things in your life can make all the
Life After Divorce
When parents divorce, usually one
parent moves out of the house and lives somewhere else. Some kids
spend part of the time living with one parent and part of the
time living with the other. Other kids live mostly with one parent
and visit the other. If this is the case for you, it may seem
strange at first to be visiting your own parent, but you may even
start to enjoy a little time away from your everyday house. And
it can feel good knowing you have two homes where someone loves
If you live mostly with one parent,
the other parent might live close to you or far away.
How often you can visit might depend partly on where everyone
lives. Some kids whose parents get divorced have to move to a
new home or a new neighborhood, and that can be tough, too. Often
(besides the divorce which is the major change) most other things
- like your school, friends, and neighborhood - will be the same.
Sometimes problems come up when
kids visit one parent and then go home to the other. For example,
one parent might ask a lot of questions about stuff the other
parent is doing. Sometimes a parent wants the kid to be a messenger
between homes. Kids usually feel uncomfortable when this sort
of thing happens. They wish that parents would just ask each other
what they want to know.
Kids don't want to feel like they
are in the middle. If something like this happens to you, talk
to your parents and tell them how it makes you feel.
Wouldn't you like to know what
will happen in the future? For a kid of a divorced family, it
may mean step-families someday. Don't expect everything to go
smoothly all the time.
It can be really hard dealing with divorce,
but try to remember that lots of kids go through what you're going
through, and usually everything and everyone turns out fine. In
fact - as bad as things might seem right now - you just might
be surprised at how good the future turns out to be!
Divorce and Separation
- A Guide For Teens
Loss Of Family
A Parent's Change
Tips To Make Divorce