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A Positive Life After Divorce

     There will be ups and downs in the process, but teens can cope successfully with their parents' divorce and the changes it brings. They may even discover some unexpected positives. Teens may find their parents are actually happier after the divorce or they may develop new and better ways of relating to both parents when they have separate time with each one.

     Some teens become more compassionate and kind when a younger brother or sister needs their support and care. Siblings who are closer in age may form tighter bonds, learning to count on each other more because they're facing the challenges of their parents' divorce together. Coping well with divorce also can bring out strength and maturity in teens. They may become more responsible, independent, and thoughtful. Some become better problem-solvers, better listeners, or better friends. Most teens learn - sometimes to their surprise - that they can make it through this difficult situation successfully. Giving it time, letting others support you along the way, and keeping an eye on the good things in your life can make all the difference.

Life After Divorce

     When parents divorce, usually one parent moves out of the house and lives somewhere else. Some kids spend part of the time living with one parent and part of the time living with the other. Other kids live mostly with one parent and visit the other. If this is the case for you, it may seem strange at first to be visiting your own parent, but you may even start to enjoy a little time away from your everyday house. And it can feel good knowing you have two homes where someone loves you.

     If you live mostly with one parent, the other parent might live close to you or far away. How often you can visit might depend partly on where everyone lives. Some kids whose parents get divorced have to move to a new home or a new neighborhood, and that can be tough, too. Often (besides the divorce which is the major change) most other things - like your school, friends, and neighborhood - will be the same.

     Sometimes problems come up when kids visit one parent and then go home to the other. For example, one parent might ask a lot of questions about stuff the other parent is doing. Sometimes a parent wants the kid to be a messenger between homes. Kids usually feel uncomfortable when this sort of thing happens. They wish that parents would just ask each other what they want to know.

     Kids don't want to feel like they are in the middle. If something like this happens to you, talk to your parents and tell them how it makes you feel.

     Wouldn't you like to know what will happen in the future? For a kid of a divorced family, it may mean step-families someday. Don't expect everything to go smoothly all the time.
It can be really hard dealing with divorce, but try to remember that lots of kids go through what you're going through, and usually everything and everyone turns out fine. In fact - as bad as things might seem right now - you just might be surprised at how good the future turns out to be!

Related Links
Divorce and Separation - A Guide For Teens
Your Feelings
Life Changes
Loss Of Family
Life Differences
A Parent's Change
Tips To Make Divorce Easier