Oral Sex On a Female

Defined:
Oral sex on a female is when one person uses their lips, mouth and tongue on and around the vulva, the labia, the clitoris and inside the vagina. The slang term most recognized is 'eating pussy', or perhaps 'going down', but the correct term is cunnilingus (cun-i-ling-us). As with oral sex on a male, cunnilingus can also include using the tongue on and around the anus (called 'analingus') and the area between the vulva and the anus, called the perinium. Although all parts of the female sexual anatomy typically respond to the caressing by mouth, lips and tongue, the part that responds with the strongest feelings is usually the clitoris (the clit) - though one must be careful - some females find the clit to be too sensitive for all that attention. A skilled lover will adapt his or her moves to the partner's needs and preferences, and will use a variety of techniques.

Negative Consequences:

Performing oral sex requires more maturity and responsibility than previously discussed sexual behaviors. Another common misperception is that performing oral sex is not 'sex', and that it is perfectly safe. Both are UNTRUE. However, performing oral sex carries no risk of pregnancy, and performing oral sex on a female is safer than having vaginal sex. Additionally, there has, in the past, been some negative stigma surrounding the idea of a male performing oral sex on a female, mostly because it seemed 'unmanly'. But in truth, there is nothing unmasculine about it, and any male who aims to be a skilled lover needs to include a variety of ways to bring pleasure to his partner.

There are two specific things about oral sex on a female that are dangerous. One is that the mouth comes into immediate contact with the labia and vaginal canal where an STD can be directly passed into the soft tissues inside the mouth. The second risk is where there is immediate contact between the mouth or tongue and fecal matter (including bacteria) when performing analingus - though this can be avoided by insuring the area is thoroughly cleaned before having sex, especially with an antibacterial soap.

Positive Consequences:

Oral sex can be an excellent alternative to full sexual intercourse, providing it is done safely. The primary benefits are that of providing pleasure to another person, and positive self-esteem from knowing that you are focusing on and giving pleasure to your partner (one step towards making you a good lover). Additionally, many people find that they enjoy the act of cunnilingus and feel it is part of a well-rounded, exciting sex life.

While performing oral sex for the first time can be a little intimidating (and some people think 'yucky'), if you really want to overcome your fear or concern about 'yuckiness', you might try being inventive and doing something like drizzling your favorite syrup (like chocolate, strawberry, butterscotch) on the vulva and start by licking it off. Even if it is the first time performing oral sex, it is most safely done with a flat piece of latex film sometimes called a dental dam. That flat piece of latex will prevent any STD from passing between the two partners. Since the latex film is not always easy to find, one can also cut open a standard latex or new non-latex condom, but it needs to be a condom without any spermicide to avoid a bad taste.

Also keep in mind that oral sex can (and actually should) involve more than just the genitals. There are many, many areas on the body that respond with pleasure when caressed with the lips or tongue.

Specific Risks:

To avoid getting an STD from performing oral sex on a female, it is best to do so with a barrier or some type between the mouth and the genitals, and it is most safely done with a flat piece of latex film sometimes called a dental dam. That flat piece of latex will prevent any STD from passing between the two partners. Also, one should never perform oral sex on someone known to have an STD, or where one can see sores or warts anywhere in the genitals region. If one is going to perform analingus, the best protection is having the person wash/shower/bathe very thoroughly, preferably with an antibacterial soap. As with most sexual behaviors, knowing your partner and their sexual history is also in your favor.

Note: Since the latex film is not always easy to find, one can also cut open a standard latex or new non-latex condom, but it needs to be a condom without any spermicide to avoid a bad taste. Many people find the taste of a latex (rubber) condom to be unpleasant and avoid using one during oral sex for that reason. However, condoms have recently gone high-tech and there are many, many ways to overcome the rubberish taste. One can now purchase flavored condoms (usually at a condom specialty store or over the Internet) in dozens of flavors, and the newer polyurethane (plastic) condoms have virtually no taste at all. One can also drizzle syrup to overcome the latex taste. The female condom, called REALITY, can be used in this way, but most find that it is a very expensive option.